Why Constance McMillen is Important

I don't personally know Constance McMillen, which puts me right about where most of her supporters are. This puts me in an odd position - I don't really care about this individual, but I care greatly about this situation.

Every generation, gays and lesbians make inroads in our communities. We are able to be more out and open about who we are. We raise families. We move to the suburbs. We act like *gasp* straight couples.

But before getting to where we are, generations before us had to endure extreme discrimination. It's difficult to think that, up until the Lawrence v. Texas decision of the U.S. Supreme Court, gay sex was basically illegal in 11-13 states (depending on how you read statutes). We have made massive inroads at the ballot box (Ref. 71), and while suffering glaring setbacks (Question 1, Prop 8), we are doing better than ever.

But in the midst of all of this progress, I fear that we are forgetting that the next generation is still going through the dreaded high school years.

I don't find myself in the company of people under the age of 21 often. I don't get the question about how to or when to or who to come out to. My answer, however, would be simple: quietly, when you feel comfortable, and to whom you feel comfortable telling.

I have heard stories of the progress made in high schools across America. A gay friend is a hot commodity in many high schools across America. However, the gay kids in America still face institutionalized discrimination, which is dangerous, plain and simple.

To use a personal anecdote (which I detest in general): I was in high school a long, long time ago. In a school with well over 2000 students, I was by no means the only gay, or even the only "out" fag. But, being who I am, I found myself a bit of a lightening rod for anti-gay folks. Unlike most out gays in my school, I refused to just keep my head down and be a little bitch to the anti-fagala bigots that populated my school.

At the same time, I was very much in tune with what was going on in Olympia, and knew that hate crimes against gays were a crime. Providing school administrators with the tools necessary to ensure a safe environment for gay students, I was left with the impression that attacks on gay students (or minorities of any type) would be handled swiftly and appropriately.

Instead, my school decided to embrace homophobia, and blame victims of violent, homophobic attacks for what happened to them. By telling students that it is their fault they are targets because they are too "flamboyant" or "boyish" (for a lesbian) is akin to saying "well, you wouldn't have been punched in the back of the head if you would just lighten your skin a bit" to a black man.

This all culminated in a very personal way, when I found myself the victim of a heinous attack perpetrated by a very angry, very homophobic young man who was much larger (height wise) and stronger than I am. I still remember the blows to the head by steel-toe boots. Even worse, I remember the Snohomish County Sheriff deputy telling me that if I was just a little less faggoty, I wouldn't have had anything to worry about.

That is institutionalized bigotry. That is what tells kids that it's okay to hate. And that leads to it being okay to attack.

Constance McMillen is probably lucky that she has so much attention on her little school right now. But I feel frightened for the little faggots in other schools who are seeing this acceptance of hatred by the people who are supposed to protect young people - school districts.

Moving forward, school districts need not have p0licies dictating who can and cannot be brought to a prom. Sure, have an age limit. But gender should not be a deciding factor. That is simply one more way of discriminating against gay and lesbian youth, and encouraging discrimination and violence against these kids who, ultimately, will replace the Barney Franks and Dan Savages of this country. The only way to do this is for gays and lesbians, regardless of their parent status, to take an interest in what is going on in their school districts, to pay attention to who they vote for, and to pay attention to school policies that will affect our incoming generation of leaders.

Because they are far more important than us.